Welcome to the land o' spoils. Population: well, us and you. Read on to see our especially crappy attempt at ruining Mark Burnett's fun.
Survivor: Africa Spoiler info:
Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 Episode 4
Episode 5 Episode 6 Episode 7 Episode 8
Episode 9 Episode 10 Episode 11 Episode 12
Episode 13   Fact sheet Pre-show spoils

Mercifully, Survivor: Africa has come to an end.
Check out the current season here.

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Survivor cast info, boot odds. Try S3, S4 or S5.

All the crap that happened in S4, S5.
Survivor humor
Note: Your mileage may vary. S2, S3 or S4.

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Episode recaps
To help dredge up the pain. S3, S4 or S5.

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Episode 2: "Who's Zooming Whom?" (Air date: October 18, 2001; filmed July 14-16, 2001)
We picked: Boran wins X RC, X IC; X Brandon gets voted off. Boy, did we kick ass this week, or what? (The correct answers were, of course: Samburu, Samburu, Jessie).

Here's our sorry attempt at logic.  We will, in our defense, note that two straight episodes have had grossly misleading titles.

Reward challenge
Something involving standing telephone pole-sized logs near towers.  Given Frank's occupation, you'd think Samburu would have this in the bag, but the CBS web preview seems to show them failing.  Brandon, in the white tank top, is elsewhere shown sulking around camp in the same clothes.  Other shots show Linda and KimP looking pertrubed.  A Boran win?

Immunity challenge
This challenge appears to be the traditional "Episode 2, let's force 'em to eat something revolting" one.  Or, in this case, drink something revolting.  That would be: cow blood.  Mmmmmm... cow blood!  Here's an eyewitness explanation of the challenge, plagiarized completely from US magazine: "They now stand in a grassy clearing before host Jeff Probst at a makeshift bar with 15 shot glasses.  Enter a cow and five Masai warriors clad in traditional red cloaks, bearing bows and spears, stage left.  One contestant gasps 'Oh God.'  Another laughs 'Holy cow!' As four of the warriors struggle to hold the beast in front of the cameras, the fifth man shoots it in the upper shoulder with a blunt arrow from four feet away, and Probst fills two gourds from the streaming fountain of blood.  Probst explains that the Masai depend on cattle's blood, milk and meat for their daily protein - the bleeding ritual, he says, does not harm the cow.  One contestant looks away,a rms crossed, squeezing her eyes together with every bleating moo.  But once the blood's thick fibers are strained out, the two teams... stoically belly up to the bar for the blood-drinking contest, to match one another shot for shot."  Previews seem to suggest the drink-off comes down to Kelly vs. Linda, using super-sized glasses.  Since the tie-breaker in S2 involved the opposing team choosing the other's participant, we suspect Samburu will not hold losing against Linda.

Analysis: The title of the show, as the previews suggest, comes from Silas' attempt to align himself with both the Samburu elders (Carl, Frank, Teresa, Linda) and the Mallrats (Lindsey, KimP, Brandon).  We suspect the old guys are playing him simply to pick the kids off, one by one, until he's the last one, which should take them past the merge, where they oust him.  As Snewser on Votedoff.tv has pointed out, the preview shots showing Samburu in their IC clothes (not at the challenge) show them looking quite unhappy.  This is where all of Silas' conspiratorial conversations with Carl, Frank and Lindsey (separately) are shown - which Snewser concludes suggests Samburu lost the IC.  We agree.  So who goes?

It depends how Silas votes.  KimP, Lindsey and Brandon will vote together for an oldster, probably Frank.  Meanwhile, Frank, Carl, Teresa and Linda will target either Brandon or Lindsey.  Lindsey appears to see Silas and Frank whispering to each other, then rushes over to get Silas to assure her they're "going to the end together."  If Frank sees this, they will wisely pick Brandon, who Silas has shown no affiliation with.  We had previously considered Silas's chin stubble length in the US magazine picture with him lying next to Lindsey as evidence that Lindsey sticks around, but: (1) Zap2It has a picture that appears to show Teresa braiding Lindsey's hair (and she does not have braids in any Ep.2 pictures), and (2) further vidcaps show Silas with just as much stubble on day 5 as in the US picture.  Since we haven't seen Lindsey in her blue bikini (in the US picture), that may have been day 6.

That suggests Brandon may be the one to go.  Frankly, we were on the fence for a long time about Brandon vs. Lindsey, but Brandon does appear to be the weakest member of Samburu.  KimP should stick around because, well, she got them fire.  And Lindsey, for all her charm, is one of the stronger people on the tribe.



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