Welcome to the True Dork Times'
Clearinghouse of 
Survivor: Africa "Humor"

Okay, yeah, these all kinda suck. We'll try harder in the future, really.

Feel free to drop by our other Survivor stuff:

Survivor cast info, boot odds. Try S3, S4, S5, S6.

All the crap that happened in S4, S5, S6.
Survivor humor
Note: Your mileage may vary. S2, S3 or S4.

View our smattering of info here. S3, S4, S5, S6.

Episode recaps
To help dredge up the pain. S3, S4, S5, S6.

Click here to see coverage of all other seasons.

If there's one thing we love about Survivor, it's that it's so easy to ridicule.  Thanks, Mark!  In our short time, the True Dork Times has accumulated a reasonably-sized pile of Survivor-related items that we sat around, cracking ourselves up over.  Of course, our standards are low, your mileage may vary.  Perhaps unsettlingly, we foresee a future in which more of the same kind of crap is likely to pile up here.  So wade on through these brackish waters, and see what happens to be floating by today.  The most recent stuff is more likely to be upstream, so tread carefully.

NOTE: If you believe any of this stuff to be true, you have bigger problems than we can solve here. It's fake. Deal with it.

CONTENTS (Dated for freshness! Although they may have been none too fresh when created).

Survivor: Africa - Page One
(December 5, 2001) Incredibly exciting uses for incredibly exciting and useful Survivor Buffs (TM)

(November 12, 2001) Just in time for Christmas!  The new Survivor: Africa "Watch Me Bruise" Lindsey doll!

(November 7, 2001) Now in paperback! 100 Top Secrets of Effective Persuasion, by Silas Gaither

Survivor: Africa - Page Two
(November 3, 2001) Chef Brandon's International Home o' Flapjacks!

(October 21, 2001) Introducing: The world's most effective security system
(October 12, 2001) First Survivor 3 endorsement deal: "Clarence's Black Beans"

(September 9, 2001)  CBS reveals "daring, original" Survivor: Africa cast

See also:
Survivor: The Australian Outback
Survivor: Marquesas

Chef Brandon's International Home o' Flapjacks!

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Introducing: The world's most effective security system

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First Survivor: Africa endorsement deal - "Clarence's Black Beans!"

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CBS reveals "daring, original" Survivor: Africa cast
Ending months of speculation, CBS officially unveiled the cast of Survivor: Africa yesterday, marking the third installment of its popular reality series (pictured here on location at the Shaba Reserve in Kenya).  Network programming chief Leslie Moonves and producer Mark Burnett pronounced the 16 new contestants a success for the program's "daring, original" casting, which produced a "diverse mix of real people."  Moonves cited Tom Buchanan, a Rich Valley, Virginia farmer, in particular.  "Big Tom is a strong, take-no-prisoners type, and he's not cut from the traditional casting mold."  Nitpicking critics pointed out that the remaining fifteen contestants appeared to be a remarkably homogeneous collection of perky, youngish, athletic types, shockingly similar to the often-criticized Survivor 2 cast.  Moonves responded by saying he looked forward to "13 weeks of top-notch television."

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