Welcome to the True Dork Times'
Clearinghouse of 
Survivor: Marquesas "Humor"

Okay, yeah, these all kinda suck. We'll try harder in the future, really.

Feel free to drop by our other Survivor stuff:

Survivor cast info, boot odds. Try S3, S4, S5, S6.

All the crap that happened in S4, S5, S6.
Survivor humor
Note: Your mileage may vary. S2, S3 or S4.

View our smattering of info here. S3, S4, S5, S6.

Episode recaps
To help dredge up the pain. S3, S4, S5, S6.

Click here to see coverage of all other seasons.

If there's one thing we love about Survivor, it's that it's so easy to ridicule.  Thanks, Mark!  In our short time, the True Dork Times has accumulated a reasonably-sized pile of Survivor-related items that we sat around, cracking ourselves up over.  Of course, our standards are low, your mileage may vary.  Perhaps unsettlingly, we foresee a future in which more of the same kind of crap is likely to pile up here.  So wade on through these brackish waters, and see what happens to be floating by today.  The most recent stuff is more likely to be upstream, so tread carefully.

NOTE: If you believe any of this stuff to be true, you have bigger problems than we can solve here. It's fake. Deal with it.

CONTENTS (Dated for freshness! Although they may have been none too fresh when created).

Survivor: Marquesas - Page One
(March 16, 2002) Just Released: How to survive in the wilderness without really trying

See also:
Survivor: The Australian Outback
Survivor: Africa (Page One)

Survivor: Africa (Page Two)

Just released!
How to survive in the wilderness... without really trying
by Rob Mariano, Sarah Jones and Sean Rector
By the American Red Cross. Foreword by Hunter Ellis.

You loved them on Survivor: Marquesas, now take the knowledge they displayed with you on your next wilderness outing!  Never fear getting lost again, with these handy survival tips.  Over 260 pages of critical strategies for staying alive, including these important topics:

- Chasing chickens: Good or bad?
- Can't swim? Try prayer instead!

- Basking: Conserves energy while building your tan!

Brought to you by the American Red Cross, who promise to walk door-to-door in New York, and hand out the proceeds to anyone who'll take them.

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