Episode 2: Too many blurs
Survivor 30: Worlds Apart Vidcap gallery
Oh, hey. It's a True Dork Times vidcap gallery! Warning: Captions may not reflect the actual events you saw on TV.
This week: Sierra and Lindsey give an early preview of the episode's theme: Shock and awe.
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Oh no, wait... yeah, that's the theme: Point and snicker -
Enough of this sitting around and laughing. Is it time for me to yell at people yet? -
Not yet, my friend. I have to tip my cap to the greats first. Heeeeeere's Rupert! -
Oh god, no. -
Roar! -
Now that So's gone, do I get to be the hot one? Yes? Ow, the burning. -
Is it my turn to tip my cap to the greats? Yes! Okay, here comes Rupert. What? It's been done? -
This butt's for you, Dan -
Who's he tipping his cap to now? Is it Andrew Savage? It's Savage, right? -
Actually, it was Ryan Opray. Our mistake. -
Skillfully drawing the camera's gaze blurward -
Oops! I guess I ripped my pants again! -
Strategic achievement unlocked -
Come on, Joaquin. Just follow the cameras. You know, like when you're looking for idols? Oh wait, never mind. -
Can we get David Samson to trade me to the Beauty tribe? Please? -
Wait, isn't this from when I gave my first confessional in the premiere? (Best answer: Yes, it was.) -
You guys *could* help, you know. Pants optional. -
Really wish our buffs said No Collar instead of this Nagaro thing. Nina didn't quite catch Probst's announcement, and now she's confused. -
Do you have to walk so close, Hali? We ARE the No Follow tribe, remember? -
Do I *HAVE* to look in there, Will? I'm pretty sure Jeff said we were No Hollows. -
I heard Probst perfectly fine the first time, I'm just tipping my cap to Christy Smith -
Apparently Hali believed Nina's claim that they were the No Clothes tribe -
I can't believe we fell for that camera dude's claim he would get us chocolate and peanut butter -
What do you mean you don't want to be called Evil Stepsisters? We're the New Cinderella tribe, right? -
At least I didn't get a consolation hug from Vince Charming -
It's Day 5, Dan. Can I yell at people yet? -
Thanks for setting us up in a camp with this giant bong behind me guys. Really helps us relax. -
Look, you layabouts. We don't have time for that. SOMEONE has to remove these non-native twigs from around this cactus. -
*Cough* What? Uh, we're not burning wood in here, bro. -
Fine. I guess I'll just have to play invisible basketball here by myself, then. -
Meanwhile... Good news, everyone! Joe has crabs! -
I know where those came from! -
I knew I shouldn't have let Nina convince them we were really the No Pants tribe. -
Joe, I want you to confirm and authenticate that you've been tipping your cap to Malcolm. -
Uh... yes? -
Shows what you know, Vince. I've been tipping my cap to Silas Gaither. -
Let's all vote out Frank! -
I want to tip my cap to Keith Nale. I don't really get what that means, but the producer said I would eventually. -
Production chose this boat because it's obviously gold and black, like Masaya's colors -
Good news, guys. We've given you all swimsuits. So in a sense, you've all won. In unrelated news, our blur operator quit. -
Thank you, Probst! Dan was running out of body parts on which to wear his shirt! -
Probst: Uh, Joe? Do you need to clean off your swimsuit already? Joe: It's dirt, Probst! -
Look, guys! I'm strong in the water, just like Rupert! -
Settle down, you two. You're supposed to be tipping your caps, not the platforms. -
Tipping his cap to Eddie Fox, Max dives past the final post. -
Relax, I'm just tipping my cap to Osten. -
Joe, what did we tell you about tipping the platform? -
Carolyn tips her cap to Austin Powers. -
Joaquin tips his cap to Joaquin of a few minutes ago -
Carolyn and Shirin tip their caps to Vince of last episode. -
Blue collar! Continues not quite losing! -
You realize this means you guys won't be on camera again until next episode, right? White Collar: *Groan*. Thanks a lot, Joaquin. -
Joe... I have a confession to make: There are no sandwiches. -
Look, the bigger problem is that we've beaten the 'Nina pretends to mishear No Collar' and 'tipping my cap' jokes into the ground. -
How dare you, sir. Tired of trying to wring semi-passable humor out of you guys, maybe. -
If there's one thing I've learned watching Survivor, it's that splitting the vote requires lots of explanation, and therefore camera time. -
So you see, if we force a 3-way tie, we get to vote again, which means Tribal Council takes twice as long. -
Can't people just watch the Tribal Council video on YouTube as many times as they want to? I don't see the point. -
So... I'm looking for a way to go from #3 on a three-person alliance to #5 on a five-person tribe. I think I've found it! -
Good news, Will! Vince thinks you're a liability. Sucks to be you. -
Vince, feeling the cohesion -
I have some funny news for you guys: I can totally hear when you're making fun of me -
Whoops. -
Before we vote, can I take a few minutes to talk about my truest nature? -
Oh yes, please do. -
Hali tilts her head, in an effort to keep Tribal Council from tipping over, due to the sheer weight of hair. -
Wait... I know you! You were on that Two Men show, and you were naked! Did they blur you too? -
Look Jenn, buttering up the host is a good try, but if you want them to show you voting, you'll need a hilarious misspelling or attempted wordplay -
Oh, papa Hali, you are so learn'ed. -
You guys, I've been telling everyone this is the best cast ever, and you're voting out the FEATHER GUY? None of you are getting invited back. Except maybe Vince. -
Hug? -
Masayameme, Ep2
Jeff Pitman is the founder of the True Dork Times, and probably should find better things to write about than Survivor. So far he hasn't, though. He's also responsible for the Survivometer, calendar, boxscores, and contestant pages, so if you want to complain about those, do so in the comments, or on Bluesky: @truedorktimes