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Clearinghouse of 
Survivor: The Ausralian Outback "Humor"

Okay, yeah, these all kinda suck. We'll try harder in the future, really.

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If there's one thing we love about Survivor, it's that it's so easy to ridicule.  Thanks, Mark!  In our short time, the True Dork Times has accumulated a reasonably-sized pile of Survivor-related items that we sat around, cracking ourselves up over.  Of course, our standards are low, your mileage may vary.  Perhaps unsettlingly, we foresee a future in which more of the same kind of crap is likely to pile up here.  So wade on through these brackish waters, and see what happens to be floating by today.  The most recent stuff is more likely to be upstream, so tread carefully.

NOTE: If you believe any of this stuff to be true, you have bigger problems than we can solve here. It's fake. Deal with it.

CONTENTS (Dated for freshness! Although they may have been none too fresh when created).

Survivor: The Australian Outback - Page One
(August 12, 2001) Mark Burnett launches menswear line - MB: shawls for manly men

(August 2, 2001) Jeff Probst - My Scariest Injuries: Caught on Tape!

(July 21, 2001) Keith has a new show on Animal Planet this fall

See also:
Survivor: Marquesas
Survivor: Africa (Page One)

Survivor: Africa (Page Two)

Mark Burnett launches menswear line - MB: shawls for manly men

Television producer Mark Burnett, renowned for his grueling, visceral series including CBS's Survivor and Discovery Channel's Eco-Challenge, is taking his rugged image to the next logical level - the fashion runway.  Following the lead of fellow celebrity-menswear impresarios Regis Philbin and Sean "P. Diddy" Combs, Burnett has unveiled his own name-branded line of male-oriented clothing.

Titled simply "MB," the centerpiece of the line is a series of colorful, draped accessories that Burnett describes as "shawls for manly men."  His trademark bush hat and khaki safari shirt are also sold separately.  But the rugged Burnett, a former British military man, prefers to focus on the shawls.  The multicolored wraps feature intricate patterns and whimsical, mini pom-poms along the edges.

"To me, working as I do with extreme danger every day, these shawls just scream 'I am a hirsute, masculine beast, and I just love to look fabulous, whether I'm killing a drugged baby pig in the Australian outback with a six-inch knife, or simply shopping at Nordstrom'," the producer explained.  "Sure, in some parts of the world, the shawls just signify 'I have been to Northern Africa', but to Western audiences, I think this will say something quite different."

Coincidentally, through a unique marketing deal, Nordstrom stores will have exclusive sales access to Burnett's line of clothing for a limited time.  But Burnett stresses that, despite the hefty $200 price tag for the shawls, they are designed for all men, especially blue-collar ones.

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Jeff Probst - My Scariest Injuries: Caught on Tape!

Daring, manly Survivor host Jeff Probst has a video available for sale only on the net!  It details all of the many, many horrific dangers he faces each and every day while filming the show. Now available on VHS or DVD. Buy six or seven!

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Keith has a new show on Animal Planet this fall

One of our diligent readers sent in this video capture of an ad from the Animal Planet web site.  Apparently, the folks at Disney were so taken with Keith's athletic pursuit of Australian insects, they gave him a whole show in which to expand his pursuits.

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