Oh dear, it's...   The Official True Dork Times

(a.k.a. more crap, and we do mean crap, than your ever wanted
to know about Survivor: Africa)

Mercifully, Survivor: Africa has come to an end.
Check out the current season here.

The redirection section: Don't forget our other Survivor-related pages

Survivor cast info, boot odds. Try S3, S4 or S5.

All the crap that happened in S4, S5.
Survivor humor
Note: Your mileage may vary. S2, S3 or S4.

View our smattering of info here. S3, S4 or S5.

Episode recaps
To help dredge up the pain. S3, S4 or S5.

Click here to see this week's leaders.

The final two
Contestant Biographical info Votes for Results
Ethan Zohn
27, Formerly from Lexington, MA

- Lex
- Tom
- Teresa
- Frank
- Kelly
Episode 13: The winner, 5-2.
"Mama" Kim Larsen Johnson
57, Oyster Bay, NY
- KimP
- Brandon (more of an Anti-Ethan vote)
Episode 13: Shocking F2 finish.

The suckers stuck with jury duty

Sucker Biographical info Final 2 friends Final 2 enemies Booted
Lex Van Den Berghe
38, San Jose, CA

- Ethan. - MamaKim. Episode 13: Booted by MamaKim

Votes against: 9
- Ep7 - Clarence, Teresa; Ep8 - Frank, Teresa, KimP, Kelly; Ep11 - Teresa, KimP; Ep13 - MamaKim.

Tom Buchanan45, Rich Valley, VA

- Ethan. - Wasn't obvious beforehand, but MamaKim Episode 13: 3-1.

Votes against: 7
- Ep6 - Lindsey, KimP, Brandon; Ep12 - Teresa; Ep13 - Lex, Ethan, MamaKim.

Teresa Cooper
42, Jackson, GA
- None obvious.  Really seems to like Lex. - None obvious. We'd vote against MamaKim, if we were her. Episode 12: 4-1.

Votes against: 4
- Ep12: Lex, Ethan, Tom, MamaKim.

Kimberly "Little Bit" Powers
29, Conshohocken, PA
- Tom.
- Got along with pretty much everyone.
- None obvious. Maybe Lex. Episode 11: 4-2.

Votes against: 4
- Ep11: Lex, Ethan, Tom, MamaKim.

Franklin Garrison
43, Odessa, NY

- Might choose a man over MamaKim.  Tough call for Lex versus Tom. - MamaKim? Episode 10: 6-1.

Votes against: 6
- Ep10: Ethan, Lex, Tom, MamaKim, KimP and (gasp, sob) Teresa.

Brandon Quinton
25, Dallas, TX
- Lex. - Tom. Episode 9: 6-2.

Votes against: 6
- Ep 9: Ethan, MamaKim, Tom, Frank, Teresa, KimP.

Kelly Goldsmith
22, Rancho Sante Fe, CA
- Given a final two choice between Satan and Lex, would pick Beelzebub. - Lex. Very, very much.
- MamaKim?
Episode 8: 5-4.

Votes against: 5
- Ep 8: Lex, Ethan, MamaKim, Tom and, yes, Brandon.

The dearly departed

Bootee Biographical info Votes against Relevant info Booted
Clarence Black
24, Detroit, MI
- Episode1: Diane, Tom.
- Episode 2: Jessie, Tom.
- Episode 7: Brandon, KimP, Frank, Ethan, Lex, MamaKim, Tom.
- Sees Lex and Frank as likeable, thought MamaKim was evil.
- Claims he did not get to know Brandon at all. Hmmm.
Episode 7: 8-2.

- Overall: First post-merge boot?  Huge target. Hey, at least we got that right. 'Course, we saw the merge delayed by three days. Oops.

Lindsey Richter
27, Portland, OR
- Episode 3: Carl, Linda, Teresa, Frank.
- Episode 6: Lex, Tom, Kelly.
- We didn't think it was possible for her to get booted, since she had had so little camera time. Lindsey, we hardly knew ye. Episode 6: 3-3, lost tie due to prior votes against.

- Overall: Diane's list - 4; Naysayers - 0

Silas "Chip" Gaither
23, Los Angeles, CA

- Episode 4: Frank, Linda, Teresa.
- Episode 5: Frank, Teresa, KimP, Ethan, Clarence.
- Final Chat and Early Show interviews revealed he was quite close to Tom, whom he never met on the show. Early exit for Tom?
- Conversely, he knew nothing about Lex, despite hanging out at base camp.
Episode 5: 5-1.

- Overall: Time to go see Diane, Chip.

Linda Spencer
44, Cambridge, MA
- Episode 4: Lindsey, KimP, Silas, Brandon. - Managed to go a whole episode without mentioning the gods... sniff, Linda, we already miss ya! Episode 4: 4-3.

- Overall: Diane's list of friends gains another name....

Carl Bilancione
46, Winter Park, FL

- Episode 3: Lindsey, KimP, Silas, Brandon. - Sorry, the correct answer is not "Magnets" remove ticks.  Nope, not "dental tools," either. Episode 3: 4-4, lost tie breaker trivia.

- Overall: It was rigged.

Yesenia "Jessie" Camacho
27, Orlando, FL
- Episode 2: Ethan, Lex, Kelly, KimJ, Clarence.

- Spent a lot of time puking and dehydrated. The next mercy boot? (Hey, at least we got this part right).

- So long, and thanks for all the barf!

- Touchingly, thought Tom's vote for Clarence was a show of support.

Episode 2: 5-2

- Overall: Another mercy boot, rapidly becoming a Boran habit.

Diane Ogden
42, Lincoln, NE

- Episode 1: Ethan, Lex, Kelly, Jessie, KimJ, Clarence. - Completely irrelevant. Episode 1: 6-2

- Overall: Mercy boot, collapsed in challenge.  Seen as weakest member of her tribe.


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