Nicole (confessional): The first day that we took off on the Rembrandt, we were all excited. We got all dressed up wearing our nice clothes. We were expecting to go to one great big last meal. Have a big celebration. We had all of our clothes packed that we were going to bring with us -- our luxury items and everything else like that. We took turns sleeping on and off the floor. Some people got a little seasick, but we were all smiling at one another. Then, before we knew it we were jumping ship into the water and the game had begun. It was a huge shock. When Jeff told us we were wearing the clothes on our back, I panicked. I had extremely uncomfortable shoes on. Just this tiny little dress that we could barely get zipped up. At the last minute before I left, I opted not to wear a bra in order to get the dress on easier. Which was very scary, because in a minute I was going to be jumping ship and swimming in the water with not a lot on.
And god knows what we were going to be doing, hiking, climbing, physical challenges and this is not suitable attire for any of those things.
CUT
    Looking back on this first day since being voted off, my experience was very different than what I was expecting. Most importantly I have to say it's real. I think I've seen it before. I thought I knew what I was getting into. I thought it was going to be a lot easier than it was. The conditions are very real, especially the cold at night, the rain, the bugs, the lack of food, thirst. It was a lot tougher than I was expecting. But more than, the idea that people were playing mentally with you from the very beginning. I wasn't prepared for what I had gotten myself into. I took it a little too lightly and actually accepted that these people were becoming friends with me. I didn't realize exactly what was going on.
    I learned a lot in the three days I was there. I realize how long three days is. Each night felt like it was 20 hours long. I also learned that certain comforts shouldn't be taken for granted. To take some value in the few good friends I have, because once you out there and you realize how some people can be. It's pretty amazing. That was one of the hardest things for me was not having anyone you could seriously talk to. Going through the struggle and not knowing if anyone around you can be trusted. That made it difficult. I'll also never pass up a meal just because I think I've eaten too much. I'll appreciate it a little more.
    As we were paddling in to tribal council, I had some jitters in my stomach because of the way events had fallen apart throughout the day
I had a pretty good feeling it might be me. I was going to stick with all I could hope for which is my last chance -- the last alliance we had talked about was to vote Ryan S out. But the fall through with the girls and what it led to with the guys and their reaction, I had a pretty good feeling I was going home.
    I kind of had already dealt with it earlier in the day, so it was exciting to me. I was running through my head how I was going to walk out. Thinking if I was going to leave. It was really dramatic. Jeff was very observant in some of things he pointed out. He had a pretty good finger on who was where and what was going on.
CUT
     When I first saw my name, I felt a little bit like I've been duped, ya know. A little bit of a shock, because while I knew it was going to happen, I was overwhelmed that it was a reality. I thought at least some of the people would have stuck with what we had agreed on earlier that day. It hit me that there must have been a lot more talking going on than I was aware of. And I was feeling a little bit more secure than I should have been feeling earlier in the day.
I was disappointed in going home, cuz I wanted to make it further. But at the same time I accepted it. I understood why it happened and I was able to go with it.
CUT
    At tribal council when Jeff asked me to bring up my torch and it was time to go, part of me was laughing, part of me was a little disappointed. When I pictured myself there before I was worried I was going to break out and cry, but I was half on the verge of laughing because I knew the irony of the situation. It was sad to know I was leaving, but when he put my torch out there was a big feeling of relief. The relief that I wasn't going to spend another night out there. So it was OK.
If I had the chance to go back and do survivor over again, I think my goal would be to keep my mouth shut longer. At the same time, that was my goal this time, and I wasn't able to do it, even for a million dollars.
Who I am came out. I couldn't bite my tongue. I tried, I couldn't do it. So I guess I don't have any regrets because I can't change who I am.

TRIBAL COUNCIL VOTING
We watched Nicole's torch get extinguished at Tribal Council, but what you didn't see is every one of her tribe members cast their vote. Go Inside the voting booth as the Morgan tribe explains their votes.
Markopolo's note: It is VERY hard to hear because of the high winds. I had a ton of trouble with Tijuana, Ryan O and Lil. Also, Ryan S. apparently thinks he is gone from the tone and content of his vote.