Editor's note: A new tribe... can we just pretend the first five episodes never happened, and call it a new season? Survivor finally was worth watching this week, with a satisfying immunity challenge (and winner), and enough moving parts to put the final vote in doubt. We weren't thrilled with how the vote ended up, but you can't have everything. In a just world, we would honor Corinne's contributions to the show with a narrative from her perspective. But there's no way we could even hope to match that level of witty venom. So instead, we bring you our most vacuous, shallow recap yet: Caramoan's merge episode, as told by...
Contestant E. And Contestant E. (Sorry if you were hoping for something better.)
The water at this beach sure is wet. Also: boat.
We're going to a new home? Will there be chicks there? I mean... new ones?
We're all here now, so.... I still think there must be new chicks here somewhere.
Does this Buff make me look fat?
Gross food, you say? I'm eating sandy rice from a shell. How much less appetizing can it get?
Hey, ladies! Just so you know, I totally don't eat cow balls.
Uh... am I the only one that notices Michael now has horns? See, I told you eating cow balls is a bad idea.
Psst... dude. Is this the new island where we get to meet chicks?
Urgh. You said shipworms, right? With a P?
Mmm. Are you gonna finish that?
I'm pretty sure you told me I'd 'meet chicks,' not 'eat chicks.'
All right, bro. I'll give you one more chance. But there had better be chicks out here.
Wow, the water at this beach is pretty wet, too.
Okay, sure. But does this plan mean more chicks for me? I've gotta keep my head in the game here.
This water? Also wet.
Wait, did you say Sherri? Andrea pointed to Corinne. I don't know what's going on.
Is this the island where the chicks are? I'm totally starting to lose Hope again. What're we doing here?
God, I hope I'm not supposed to eat this
Thumbs up, ladies. I'm pretty sure I did not eat a council ballot. Nor any cow balls. Victory!
Recaps and commentary
Exit interviews - Corinne Kaplan