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Oh dear, it's the True Dork Times'
24: Season 4 Life Expectancy Chart!
(Because it's never too soon to think about how many hours fictional TV spies might have left)

You Got Jacked is over.
Thanks to everyone for playing.
Week 20 Final overall
Solo Leader Solo Leader
partyflavor VolcanicGlass
Team Leader Team Leader
Nina's Ghost Nina's Ghost
Solo winner: VolcanicGlass
Team winner: Nina's Ghost Returns

Maybe you'll be able to come up with a less cliched escape plan than faking your own deaths.

And you are... Risk factors Longevity factors Life expectancy
Jack Bauer
This isn't the agent you're looking for
- Always manages to find his way in front of bullets, exploding druglords. Now with less ammo!
- 24Insider: BANG!
- Seems to have discovered body armor this season. Good call. Still averse to the helmets other field units wear, though.
5-7 AM Time left
Dead again (and yet not) "Jack Bauer" is no more
Tony Almeida
Scowly ex-con
- Tony: "A major character--and I know them quite well--dies."
- philly: In the field, injured in finale.
- None, now that he and Michelle have made up and plan to leave CTU (ancient cop show cliche).
5-7 AM Time left
Kidnapped, gun pointed at head... Safe
Michelle Dessler
Work harder, dammit!
- None obvious. - Ausiello: Recurring characters who die are male.
5-7 AM Time left
Lots of tears Safe
David Palmer
He played a role...
- Can the warhead penetrate the White House bunker? Eh, probably not. - On for last six hours. Biggest threat is that Logan might explode.
5-7 AM Time left
Safe Safe
Fully pardoned assassin
- philly: On the same finale set as Jack, Curtis, Tony and SWAT teams? Doesn't sound good for Mandy. - Ausiello: Will return for the finale.
- 24 Insider: Takes Tony hostage in Ep4.22
5-7 AM Time left
Back again Saved
Pres. John Keeler
I sat on a plane!
- President in a coma, I know, I know, it's serious...

- None obvious.

5-7 AM Time left
Still alive, sorta Do you really think he'll pull through?
Pres. Charles Logan
Why me?
- On the plus side, it would take Jack a good four hours to fly out there and beat the crap out of him. - None obvious.
5-7 AM Time left
Safe Good for a few hours
Mike Novick
Power monkey
- How long can the very special 24 reunion episodes last? - Needs to sell Palmer out again, eventually. Or not.
5-7 AM Time left
Safe Safe
Agent Aaron Pierce
Non-lethal Secret Service
- Good thing he got demoted to VP duty right before AF1 crashed. - Protecting the President is not as dangerous as you might think, apparently.
5-7 AM Time left
Safe Safe
Defense Secy
James Heller

Jack's sort-of ex-boss
- Where am I? - Apparently beta-testing personal Stealth technology.
5-7 AM Time left
He's gone again! Safe
Audrey Raines
Kim was more useful
- Maybe she'll cross Chloe, and get a lethal scolding. - Has to be kept around to scowl at various CTU people.
5-7 AM Time left
Safe More a question of why, than how long
Richard Heller
Audrey's embarrassing brother
- Apart from recurring CTU torture sessions, not much. - None obvious.
5-7 AM Time left
Missing again? Probably survives
Bill Buchanan
It's okay, I'm with Michelle (I wish)
- People coming in from Division rarely fare well at CTU. - Now that Tony and Michelle have "made peace" (?) largely irrelevant.
5-7 AM Time left
Safe Safe
Chloe O'Brian
CTU shoulder to lean on

- Sadly, we're guessing she won't be getting too many more opportunities to shoot people.

- Ausiello: Signed on as a regular for Season 5.
5-7 AM Time left
Safe Safe
Curtis Manning
CTU number two... er, -plus
- Seems to be avoiding the field now. - philly: Still around in finale episodes (4.23-.4.24).
5-7 AM Time left
In harm's way Safe
Edgar Stiles
CTU mumbler
- Back to business. "Um, yes, I was just distracted. That's it, all right." - Not a high-risk job (CTU bombings and shootings notwithstanding).
5-7 AM Time left
Safe Safe
Howard Bern
CTU traitor
- That videotape may affect his future employment opportunities. - None obvious.
5-7 AM Time left
On the run (again) Drops out, circa 6:15 AM
Cheng Zhi
The Chinese Jack Bauer
- Hopefully he killed Bern, or he might want to watch out for CTU. - None obvious.
5-7 AM Time left
Safe Safe

The Day Four Morgue: Massive Body Counts? Not a problem!
And you were... Risk factors Longevity factors Life expectancy
Habib Marwan
Bigger, badder, bad guy
- Being the major bad guy generally doesn't work out too well.
- 24 Insider: Takes a big fall.
- Seems unlikely he'll survive the finale.
5-7 AM Time left
On the run (again) Drops out, circa 6:15 AM
Paul Raines
I got Jacked, twice
- Twice tortured, then shot.
- TVGuide: Jack must choose whether Paul or a hostile gets medical help. Uh oh...
- Audrey likes him again, sorta.
2-3 AM Time left
Paul is dead.
Time of death: 2:59 AM
Short-lived Marwan assassin
- Another victim of drywall's poor shielding capacity. - None obvious.
10-11 PM Time left
Shot by Jack Plunked, circa 10:30
Dina Araz
Navi's not-so-innocent wife
- You may already be dead (shot again around 8:59 PM). - No visible corpse (yet). Apparently there was one, though.
8-9 PM Time left
She's dead, Jim Disposed of, 8:59
Marianne Taylor
Designated CTU evildoer
- CTUMole: Marianne gets discovered, nearly blown up, then shot (eventually). - Curtis doesn't go into the field with her until after 4 PM.
4-5 PM Time left
Cleaned up like a loose end Shot, 4:55 PM
Navi Araz
Importer, apparent "mini boss"
- 24 Insider: Behrooz shoots Navi around 4:00 (plus or minus)
- CTU appears to catch up with him in the 4-5 PM episode?
- Araz story should take a while to play out yet.
4-5 PM Time left
Dead Oedipal treatment, circa 4:15 pm
Henry Powell Briefcase inspector, Marianne's buddy
- CTUMole: Powell is Marianne's terrorist contact.
- 24 Insider: Powell gets shot by a sniper, just as Jack finds him.
- Jack doesn't figure out Marianne's betrayal until the 3-4 pm episode.
2-3 PM Time left
Shot Snipered, 2:59
Head kidnapper
- 24 Insider: Knifed by Audrey, then Jack. - None. We're guessing this doesn't work out too well, actually.
Noon - 1 PM Time left
Beware pointy objects Poke, poke, bang, circa 12:10
Kalil Hasan
Navi's tech-savvy hitman
- CHP appears to screw something up, and Kalil's stolen truck is shown exploding. - None: Jack is seen yelling "No!" as the truck explodes, not a good sign.
11am-Noon Time left
Boom? 'Martyred' himself, circa 11:30
Ronnie Lobell
Short-lived CTU field ops chief
- Ryan Chappelle and George Mason bossed Jack Bauer around, and look where it got them. - None.
7-11 a.m. Time left
Dead Expired, circa 8:58

Better off dead: The island of misplaced characters
And you were/ are (?) ... Risk factors Longevity factors Life expectancy
Behrooz Araz
CTU collateral damage
- Have you seen this child? - Kristin: "Back before the end of the season." Moral: never believe Kristin's "spoilers."
5-7 AM Time left
Where am I? Maybe he's just napping
Mitch Anderson
Transitional "hostile"
- Was he shot down, or just his plane? We'll probably never know. - May already be dead.
11-12 PM Time left
Where am I? May already be dead
Sarah Gavin
In search of new ass to kiss
- With Driscoll gone, again at the bottom of the totem pole.
- Michelle is displeased in 7-8 PM episode, it appears.
- Would be ironic if she emerged as an actual mole at a later date.
8-9 PM Time left
Fired Dismissed
Erin Driscoll
Grumpy ex- CTU Director
- Heading home after a job well done. - She's a full cast member, and who else is going to impede Jack's murder sprees? Oh, right. Michelle.
6-7 PM Time left
Dismissed Gone, forgotten?
Mysterious corporate enforcer
- Since Curtis gets away, probably not long for this show. - CTU apparently forgot to interrogate him. Whoops! Our bad!
5-6 PM Time left
Last seen alive Taken care of by 5:15 PM?
Andrew Paige
Chloe's buddy, computer geek
- Not too up on anonymous web surfing, apparently.
- All of his friends are dead! Mom too!

- Disposable, even though Chloe likes him.

11am-Noon Time left
Forgotten? Probably survives
Tomas Sherek
Terrorist suspect

- Lower-level terrorist, apparently.
- Jack Bauer interrogations are not necessarily good for one's health.

- roundhoward: Sherek's unseen after hour one.
11am-Noon Time left
Forgotten? Who cares?
Motorcycling assassin
- Despite the snappy Vader-esque look, not obviously a key character. - Assassins usually hang around.
11am-Noon Time left
Forgotten? Who cares?

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